Tales Of A Fourth Generation Textile Executive: Doing Good Could Be Addictive, But Be Careful

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I have been debating back and forth for awhile whether or not I should share this crazy story or just keep it between me and me and the other person involved.  Mind you, I have only told one person this story and it was not until just recently.  I didn’t even tell my wife yet….sorry Laurie.

On a trip to South Carolina many months ago,  I took an Uber to my hotel.  As I usually do, I started chatting up the driver and making small talk.  Nothing out of the ordinary until the driver opened up about the fact that her boyfriend was abusing her and her child and her world was a total mess.  I of course hated to hear that and felt so sad for her.  I am a sucker and do have compassion for others….probably a little too much sometimes as my wife would probably tell you.  Hence, that is why I didn’t tell her.  Yeah, I know this might get me in to some hot water.

Anyway, with the sewing machine giveaway and other charitable work putting me on a high of late, I thought that I could help out Tiffanie.  As I exited the car, I gave her my card and told her to reach out and I would see what I could do.  I know, it isn’t my business to butt in to people’s lives, but hearing her tell her story made me sad and made me want to try and help to promote some change for her.

Fast forward a couple weeks, lo and behold she reached out to me.  We spoke and tried to talk through what was going on and how I might be able to help.  I didn’t feel right just sending her money because that would be a little over the top even though I truly did believe what she was telling me all true.  After awhile, I agreed to finance her car being fixed so at the least she could try to continue to drive and make a living with Uber.  Hopefully that money she earned would help her to improve her situation or at least keep her employed.

A couple days later, I hear from the auto repair shop and they tell me the cost to repair her car and I pay.  The young lady is very appreciative beyond words.  We speak a couple times after that through email.  I kept trying to encourage her to stay focused and get her life in order for herself and her son.  I kept urging her to focus on the goal.

Then things were quiet and I hadn’t heard from her in a bit.  I figured it was a good thing and I was hopeful that I did in fact help her out and she got her life back on track.  Then one day as I am sitting at my desk at work, I get a real mysterious email.  You aren’t going to believe this…well, maybe you will.  The email was from a woman’s correctional facility.  Oy veh!  What did I get myself in to?

There it was, an email from Tiffanie saying:

“Scott, I really need you to bail me out of here.  I will explain everything after, it’s all a big misunderstanding.”

Man O Man!  It was time for me to throw in the towel.  This was beyond the scope of what I signed up for and at this point I didn’t believe that she was in there for a misunderstanding.  I figured she was desperate and desperate people do desperate things sometimes.  Unfortunately, she got caught.

I wrote back:

“Dear Tiffanie, I am sorry to hear about this, but I tried to help you the best I could.   I didn’t expect something as extreme as this to happen and you are going to have to deal with the consequences of your actions.”  

That was it.  I have never heard from her again.  Long story short, doing good feels really good, but you can’t always fix other people’s problems.  I guess it was the thought that counted.

Have a great week.

Before I sign off, I wanted to encourage my readers to post comments.  Considering that I just came in to loads of new precuts, I wanted to share those with my followers and especially those who read my blogs.  So with that, every 20th comment will receive a little something from me (up to 300 comments or 15 prizes max).

Sad Scott

P.S..…Here is where you can find my Executive Facebook page.

P.S.S.… Also, please subscribe to my blog and get notifications when new blogs are posted.  Look up on the right side of this blog to register.

782 words including these.

 

This is the sewing machine I give away for free. Please feel free to purchase one, and give it away too! Or Recommend it! Or love it!

Author: Scott Fortunoff

Author of Tales of 4th Generation Textile Executive Blog. President of Studioe Fabrics, The Blank Quilting Corp. and A.E. Nathan Co., Inc. Co-President of FreeSpirit Fabrics. V-P of Henry Glass Fabrics. President of Scott’s Free Sewing Machines. Creator of the #sewrevolution.

112 thoughts on “Tales Of A Fourth Generation Textile Executive: Doing Good Could Be Addictive, But Be Careful”

  1. We never know anyone’s full story and my suspicion radar would have gone off right away on this one! You did do everything you could for her, but you need to stop when you don’t see the personal effort towards improvement. Hope Laurie understands, but I bet she knows you better than you know yourself by now! Keep up your good work and let’s keep sewing!

  2. I was really sad when I heard an acquaintance say there was nothing in the house for her teenaged son to eat except potatoes and gravy. The $50 I spent on groceries to leave on their doorstep didn’t even show up on the radar of my budget. For me, it is all about the kids. It did not go unnoticed, though, that the next time I saw her she was still getting her nails and hair done at the salon. Priorities create consequences.

  3. You did the right thing Scott. Doing wrong is the choice she made. The car was an issue she couldn’t control but ending up in a Correctional center was a choice. To be in a correctional center implies she had her trial after you reached out to her and then she was found guilty.

  4. Scott, I think many of us have been there in one way or another. Most of the time my husband is the one in our family that hears the stories and believes every word and I hang back and watch before acting. Sometimes it is the other way around. Neither is wrong, just different approaches to life.

  5. Wow! It’s just a shame that people get so down or involved in the wrong things that when they get a break, they don’t know what to do. I think it was sweet that you tried, and maybe some day she’ll look back on this and know people do care. We all know people who need help, and we all know people who take advantage so it doesn’t take long to figure those out. It’s just disappointing when they don’t take advantage of someone’s help in the right way. Life is all about choices!

  6. Well now, that WAS an interesting post. Guess you can only help people help themselves. At some point they have to take responsibility, right? But I’m glad you showed compassion and tried to help her anyhow. Your heart is in the right place Scott. Keep up the great work that you are doing for the sewing industry.

  7. Sometimes I have been burned, but then comes that day when you help and the stars are aligned and you do a true mitzvah and it all works out like it is supposed to. My father told me giving will be returned to you in many folds. So keep doing what you are doing, as I have, and the blessing will be many.

  8. Hi Scott! I applaud you for helping that Uber driver. There was no way for you to know how many other problems she had, but getting her car fixed with a noble thing to do. It solved a few problems, even though she wasn’t in a position to help herself with the other things going on in her life. Thanks for being in the 1% that always want to do the right thing!

  9. Yikes! Sorry you got mixed up with that, but I can relate, as I’m sure many of your readers can. Without going into detail, I’ve been used a few times too, but nothing like you. Long story short, I know it may happen again, but I’m going to keep helping when I can. I refuse to give in and become callous and hard. I still believe that people are good and caring and that they will pay it forward when they are able and the opportunity presents itself. I like being able to help people. I also like that my children and grandchildren do the same and none of us have any intentions of stopping anytime soon.

    I think Laurie will forgive you. 🙂 Enjoy the rest of your well-deserved vacation!

  10. Scott, I’m sorry this story didn’t have a different outcome but it’s true that people do have deal with the consequences of their actions. I can understand your helping as I have done the same thing. But eventually people have to want to change for themselves and develop the inner strength and resilience to want to do it.
    If I was so lucky to win a pre-cut please give it to the girls shelter that you gave some sewing machines to last year:-)

  11. Scott – There are so many comments I could make to your kind generosity and trying to be a “Good Samaritan.” The bottom line though is that sometimes there are those who take and take and take and expect others to always help them. In other words, they have never learned to be an adult. Continue on but please don’t let this experience ruin all of the other good that you do.

  12. Hi Scott, I have already been the lucky winner of pre-cuts and thank you again! I just wanted to comment on your blog post. It is hard to draw that line between helping and enabling. You went much farther than most would have. I commend you for your compassionate spirit and hope you never lose it. Just discuss these thing with the wife first. 🙂

  13. Scott, you have a kind, caring heart. God bless you for all you do in the sewing revolution and in everyday life. Looking forward to meeting you at Portland Market and taking FABRIC!!!!!.

  14. Oh man Scott, that’s so heartbreaking. You did a good thing, but you are right. There is only so much you can do to help people. That young lady needed to change her life and she is the only one who can make the decision to change. Keep on being the super guy that you are!

  15. Unfortunately I think this industry blinds us to the realities of the “real world.” I have found most people in this industry to be honest, helpful, and kind. The reality is beyond our industry there is rampant fraud, scamming, and people trying to get something for nothing. Bravo to you for trying to be kind and generous, but let a little NY lawyer cynicism crawl back in.

  16. I did write on your FB page but I want to make sure you’re protected. Your giving spirit is so pure and amazing. As a Granny, rely on your wife Laurie to guide your generosity. You’re a team of one. Her strengths will strengthen your strengths.
    Take care.
    Granny Linda

  17. I completely understand the compassion you have for others. When we live a life that is pretty darn good and we see others hurting, it’s very difficult not to want to try and find solutions for their issues. Over our almost 48 years of marriage, we have opened the doors to many people who were hurting. The most important thing that I can share is that we always made them know we loved them, would standby them and pray for them, but first they have to be willing to help themselves.

  18. Hey, Scott. It’s a funny thing, doing good. Sometimes it feels like a wasted effort but it never is. Kindness soothes the soul. My theory is that the gift is in the yes, in the action. The outcome is not yours.

  19. Awe Scott.. You are an inspiration to many and you did what your heart told you to do with this gal. Good on ya! Thanks for your story!

  20. Hi Scott,
    A very interesting story. You tried your best. It does leave me wanting to know why she is in a correctional facility and the outcome.

  21. The world needs people like you who see the hope, but also a realist and to know when your help can’t change a person as much as we hope it our impact does. Everyone needs a chance….

  22. You really are too nice for your own good! I’m sure your wife has told you this before. Thanks for sharing your story though. Sorry you were taken for a ride in ways you didn’t expect! Thanks for the chance to win some fabric. Have a great week.

  23. Probably everyone will wait for the other person to comment.

    Yes, sometimes helping brings its own set of problems. We have a charitable organization and have experienced this first hand. It takes a lot of wisdom to know the best way to help.

    Kudos to you for the help you do. I put your name out there on a big FB group to a lady who said she needed a machine. I told her she needed to write you and tell her her story! (I don’t know it.)

  24. Fool me once…
    Glad you know the difference between being NICE and being KIND! Don’t let this kill your kindness drive! <3

  25. Never regret helping – different time, different person – you might have made all the difference in someone’s life. She made the choice to travel down a different path. Now, send Laurie some real flowers!

  26. You did good at the right time Scott and that’s all that mattered. The “bail me out” thing is wholly on her and you were correct to back out. Happens all the time when you’re a person who consciously tries to do good. I should learn too-in a big city, a really ratty looking homeless guy was sitting on the curb outside a McDonald’s panhandling passersby. I went in, paid for a meal and coffee, and came out to give it to him. He took it, looked suspiciously at me and then spat at me. (Thank God he missed!) He muttered, “I wanted beer money-“. And so it goes. Still doesn’t affect affect my mantra, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”

  27. I too, love to help others— it’s so difficult to decide when to hold back and let them figure it out- and possibly ‘they figure it out’ is part of that person’s growth and pathway.

    When we feel the prompting to help, and that voice inside that won’t let us be— and our motivation is pure love- I believe we need to follow our hearts.

  28. Well, didn’t you learn a lesson we’ve all learned at one time or another. But we all move on. Love your blog. It makes me smile to read it. Happy love love fabric and sewing!!!

  29. I think at some point many of us have reached out to help others only to be disappointed in their journey. I lost my life savings to a drug addicted daughter. She sold all of my jewelry, stole money and sold anything she could get her hands on. I let her live with me because I couldn’t put my grandsons out in the street. In retrospect I should have put her in jail but was unable. Guess you can call me an enabler. We put the house up for sale and moved out. During that period she ripped out anything she could to sell and our sale fell through. We ended up losing the house after being on the market for 2 years. It is now old history and I have moved on. Fast forward to 2018 and she has been in rehab for 3 years and remain clean to this day. She still doesn’t have a job yet but is actively looking. She lives with me again with my grandchild Aiden who is autistic. It is a struggle every day for us but someday she will move out and finally take financial responsibility for herself and Aiden. I am hopeful that day comes sooner than later.

  30. You never know… your efforts to help her (by listening, and by paying for car repair) may have planted seeds that will sprout later on. Maybe later on, those actions will inspire this person to either pay it forward, or guide her into making good choices. Maybe both! Maybe someday she will tell her child how you helped her out, and it will inspire something good in the child’s life.

  31. Very refresh to read this story. It warms my heart that there are still good people out there willing to try to help. Not Everyone is a Con Artist. A little help can mean the world to someone who truly is in need.

  32. Sorry this happened… I too like to believe that we can pay it forward and that the person will make the right choices… sometimes that doesn’t happen… however you can know in your heart that you did what you thought was the ‘right’ thing and in another situation it will be right/helpful to that person… its up to them… Do NOT let this one act of kindness make you not want to do it again…

  33. I enjoyed reading your story. We try to pay it forward also, I have also learned when it is time to say no more. We give freely from the heart as you did, and I do not believe that is ever wrong, we are doing God’s work. We do what we can, I look forward to purchasing pre cuts I am pretty new to quilting and I love it. It fills my need to be creative and I give most of it to charities. Thank you for caring.

  34. At least she was a stranger. Our own daughter did it to us. “borrowed” $15,000 to pay for her doctorate in physical therapy, then had her kitchen remodeled, sent us a copy of her Doctoral research project (which was so basic, so rudimentary, I could have performed her “research” myself) and me with only common sense and no masters in PT! And pay it back? After four years a check for $500–never another penny. And her gifts to her father and I for birthdays and Christmas? A $100 donation to her favorite (conservative) “charities”. Her two children have learned from her. Grandpa is a sucker with a bank account.

  35. What you did for Tiffanie was the compassionate path. Short story: my meditation teacher told me once ” Always be mindful of your motivation and intent when giving. Watch how it leaves your hand, after that, it’s none of your business. You had beautiful motivation and intent. It left your hand, you believed it would help. I guess the rest of her story is no business but her own. In the long run, it may indeed help her gain some wisdom of accepting help and motivating her to use that for her own good. She is definitely in charge there.

  36. Scott:

    Thank you for your giving heart! I am hoping you haven’t used her real name. If she was truly in an abusive situation, the partner might put two and two together and you might put yourself at risk for helping. Aside from all other unpleasant issues. Don’t stop reaching out! Love your stories. Sorry for the hot water….

    Cynthia

  37. It’s so sad that some people talk a good story, get help to head in the right direction, but have to initiative to follow thru to benefit/help themselves. Everyone has choices to make and must live with the consequence of their choice.

  38. That is a sad situation. I honestly hope she will leave you alone, sometimes people will continue pestering people who only have good intentions. Stay positive but be wary. You are a good person. Thank you for all of the entertainment.

  39. Oh boy! One wonders what was really going on with Tiffanie. You are right you cannot fix everyone’s problems, you did your best. My mom would say “The Lord helps those who help themselves.”

  40. (I don’t mind posting first since I won a beautiful precut a couple months back, but hopefully everyone else won’t sit there and count replies to be every 20th in line.)

    Wow, Scott… you are one kind and generous soul for helping out Tiffanie. [I am sure Laurie already knows this and that’s why she married you.] Your story didn’t end where I thought it might, but I’m glad it ended where it did. Don’t ever change!

  41. You are a very kind person with a big heart. My Dad was just like you and would help everyone with a sob story. 90% of the time he was rewarded and not taken advantage of. Just be yourself God will help you do the right thing. You were right to not bail her out she was trying to take advantage of your kindness.

  42. I’ve had a similar experience but within my own family….ouch!
    You did a good thing and I continue to do help when needed……just not that one family member. Learned my lesson there!

  43. We used to belong to an inner city church for many years, so I think I have heard every storyline. What I do as a result is fund agencies that directly help and hold accountable the women they serve. They have the ability to deal directly and consistently with the people and situations. Many times these women have lost the ability to know and tell the truth. In my area, I support a couple of them as well as one overseas. It is heartbreaking to see so many broken and downtrodden women and kids. Just channel your resources wisely, don’t give up.

  44. There are some people that can’t be helped. I had a friend that was like a black hole. Every time I thought she was getting her ducks in a row, she would do something ridiculous and get into financial trouble again. The sad part is, she had a good paying job and no dependents, but kept making bad decisions.

  45. It’s amazingly big, yet humbling for you to write about something like this. It shows that we truly have the desire to help others, even though we might be getting ourselves in too deep, or that the wool is being pulled over our eyes.

    You tried to do good. You tried to do a Mitzvah, but unfortunately, it turned out to be something other than what you thought it was. I tend to be too mistrustful when strangers want something from me, or if something seems too good to be true. I always chalked it up to having been “born & braised on the streets of New York”. You, on the other hand, know the true meaning of Tzedackah. I grew up hearing of the the hardships of the Great Depression, WWII, Rationing, & The Stock Market Crash. I hope that this little incident doesn’t prevent you from continuing to do good. There are so many who’ve lost so much. You do help them in wonderful ways!

  46. Your post sounds so familiar. As the aunt of a repeat offender, my heart often leads when he asks for support -‘just this time’ or ‘this will be the last time’. Unfortunately, the results have been consistent, and I have had to say no. I will always love him, but that love does not include my retirement funds. Not surprisingly, my young adult kids were much smarter than me!

    Thanks for your blog posts, they are interesting and feel genuine. I do look forward to them.

  47. Scott … it is so unfortunate that this happens to so many of us who try to do good. I worked with the Big Sisters program and you give your heart and soul plus your finances to help only to see the destruction happen over and over. It took me until I was 50 to say ….. I can’t fix anyone. If I see a person doing steps to improve their lives with their time and hard work I do try to help. You have a good heart …. keep to the fabric business and us quilters because these quilts give so much comfort to a dying patient to a new born. You are helping us with beautiful fabric and the younger generation is so creative …. I am so fortunate to see the growth of this craft. Help those new designers maybe a young girl trying to make her way into this world of fabric. Sponsor a girl to be a textile engineer. It is a different world now ….. and we must be cautious of our resources. Thank you for all you do. Your donation of fabric to my girls who are trying to learn to sew was so appreciated. Pictures and story will come soon. You spread the joy of fabric for us!

  48. I have done what you have done and I still try to help if needed. But I’ve learned to do it from a distance now. And not get so personal. I now only help if I feel good about it and true evidence of need. Or just because I feel lead to give my time or anything of value. And I now pray about what I should do. I’m disabled I live on a fix income and have been took advantage of and still do now and then. But if do help it’s from my heart more so now than it used to be.

  49. I love your generosity and your kind heartedness but some people take it too far. They mess it up for the people who really need help. But it’s never wrong to help people. Thanks Scott for your kind heartedness. Keep it up

  50. I do feel sorry for this young woman, but you did the right thing for sure by drawing a boundary. I appreciate the good things you are doing in the world!

  51. Scott, you did her a good deed & encouraged her to chance her life. One good deed doesn’t mean you have to help her forever. I think you handled this well. You are one of the good guys!

  52. Thanks for trying to help! I agree it was time to step back but maybe she’ll get herself back on track!

  53. Holy moly! I hope that Tiffanie can turn her life around, and make some positive changes in her life. Good on you for trying.

  54. Sometimes all you can do is try.I’m a sucker for a sad story to. I think that’s what makes us human.

  55. Don’t be sad over telling her no. There are people out there that will take advantage of you every chance they get. Unfortunately sometimes it’s necessary to tell them no as badly as you want to help them.

    Okay now… How about this contest I’m going to have to lurk on your page to try and be the 20th post LOL your blog is going to get blogged down with everybody lurking LOL

    Have a Great day Scott! I gotta get back to my cousins wedding quilt. We had everybody at his wedding sign a block and I’m putting them together and XOXO pattern and it’s beautiful!

  56. Hey Scott – three things: 1. You NEVER go wrong by choosing to do right (my wisdom). 2. You can’t solve all the worlds problems (Joe’s wisdom). 3. If we know to do good and do not do it, we do wrong (Bible wisdom James 4:17). Your kind heart will continue to lead you to do good. Sometimes it will reap benefits, sometimes it will not. The key is to do the good you are lead to do, and not anticipate the outcome. Short story? Just keep doing the good that you do! It blesses way more than you know!

  57. My hubby is like you – always trying to see the best in folks. I try to be more like him but still have too much cynicism (I guess we balance each other out )
    Keep trying to help people – one day you’ll hit a ‘homerun’!

  58. Gosh darn it, I sure was hoping for a much different outcome, e.g., she enrolled in a class or classes, she got a better job, she played it forward. You certainly were beyond kind to help her initially – you did the right thing by telling her that you could no longer help her. I’m sure it was hard to do knowing what a big heart you have. Thanks for sharing.

  59. You tried to help, and that is a lot more than many people do. But you also knew when to back away. Wise man. I love reading your posts.

  60. Hi Scott!!
    Unfortunately, good people often get taken advantage of. You went above and beyond by simply helping Tiffanie to repair her car. But for her to ask you to bail her out of jail?!?! Unreal!! Glad you stepped back.

  61. Aha! I found the comment section. But have no fear. No spam will here appear. ( I could go on with the “ear” thing . . . ) I always seem to forget how to leave comments on blogs. You have to scroll waaaaaay down to the bottom. Anyway. My effort at obtaining a chunk of fabric is complete.

  62. WOW. Best to think that you helped someone in distress the first time. Happened to me on the LIRR. Took a group “do what you want in NYC day” with school faculty. Man in typical blue work clothes, clean, shaved, etc. came into our car and announced that he didn’t have enough money to pay for his ticket when the conductor would come around to collect and needed $5.00, could anyone help him out. I did. After he went back to the train car he came from, everyone started laughing and saying that I just got scammed out of money and he probably makes more money in a day panhandling then I made in a week. All I could think of is “what if it were one of my family members or someone I knew in need”, I surely would hope that someone would step up and offer help. Could have been a scam or it could have been someone really needing help at that moment but I prefer to think that I did help someone in need. Never have had a repeat situation but I know I did what was in my heart at that moment. There is nothing wrong with extending your hand to offer help but in your case it looked like she might have been going to abuse your goodness. Don’t think of all the alternatives and just feel good that you did what was in your heart in helping someone in need once and let the rest go.

  63. You’re never wrong to help another person – no matter how wrong the other person is. The discernment is wonderful – but – helping is what you are put on earth to do. Give, and let God sort it out has been my motto for a long time, and it has never let me down. Occasionally I’ve been disappointed, but that is my fault, not God’s. My expectations are my problem, the results are God’s to deal with.
    Done preaching … just don’t want you to stop your quest for helping others – or even slow it down.

  64. Scott, don’t be sad – your heart is in the right place. We are proud to carry Jaftex products in our shop, knowing your history, your compassion and your dedication to small shops like ours.

  65. I’m so sorry you got “burned”. Unfortunately, there are people out there that are users, it’s all they know. I’m hoping that this person will be able to turn her life around. If not, you tried. Your kind acts make a difference in the lives of people that truly need help. Our world would be a much better place if we all did a random act of kindness now and then. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive. Make a pillowcase for a pediatric unit at a local hospital, pay for the car behind you at Starbucks/McD/ Taco Bell. Little things like this restore our faith in humanity and that is always a good thing .

  66. Scott, I’m sorry this happened to you. I truly feel God was in your heart when you offered to help this girl. I also feel he was protecting you when she reached out a second time. I always think that gut feeling we feel is the Holy Spirit whispering in our ear.
    Continue to follow your heart,
    Bonnie

  67. Great story .. Love to see people helping people ! Sad that she did not take the opportunity given to her and run with it !! Hard lesson learned on her part … hopefully, she will walk the path to greatness when she gets out.

  68. Wow, you need to be careful. You are such a kind, caring, and generous man, you have to be real careful of some people. Lots of sharks out there. Glad nothing worse happened. With that said, buy your wife some flowers and take her out for a nice dinner! And from now on….tell her things like this first!

  69. Wow! What an interesting story. What a terrible ending. I was hoping you were going to tell us this wonderful ending. You are an amazing man, blessing so many people in so many ways. Keep up the great work from the heart.

  70. Not the first time a person has tried to help another and it turned out way different from the way it should have. So sorry it happened to you, but feel certain it won’t be the last time you give a hand up to another human being. I just hate it happened in SC. Love your blog, so happy that Jaftex has acquired Free Spirit!

  71. Hi Scott, I think you did the right thing for Tiffani. I hope she can get back on her feet soon!
    I just heard your interview with Stephanie on Sit & Sew radio, it was good to hear from an exec in the industry. I’ve been quilting about 5 years and sewing all my life; I think we were born about the same time 🙂 I completely agree there are way more quilting goods on the market right now than consumers. I have a few great LQS near me but they are mostly geared toward a different demographic.
    P.S. Can’t wait to see what happens for Free Spirit in the future… love all of the designers.
    P.P.S. I love precuts!

  72. I like how you bring up some deep issues here on the blog Scott. I was just reflecting on how jaded my husband and I have become with sob stories, we have addicts in the family. I have noticed how the number of people who take advantage of others has been increasing (or maybe we are just being made more aware of it through social media) although I am glad to say I also notice that the number of people who DON’T still outweigh them. Here is hoping that common sense and a good work ethic will prevail in the end!

  73. Sounds like you did the right thing! You can only do so much for people. then they have to figure things out on their own.

    Sure hope your wife forgives you! At least you stopped before you got in over your head. 🙂

  74. Hello Scott,
    Helping the young lady with her car repair was a very kind and generous thing to do.
    None of us know what her life is like nor what led her to be in jail. She is responsible for her actions. You have provided her with a way to make a living or an asset to sell, if necessary, to pay fines or to move forward.
    She may not have had anyone help her in any way before, and it may give her the opportunity to think about passing kindness on to others when she can.
    Whatever she does, I don’t believe your kindness was misplaced .

  75. Scott this scenario plays itself out in a variety of situations. You (collective you not specific you) innocently try to help a stranger out (because you can) and some where along the way your hand got extended a bit too far (without your knowledge) and there are subsequent requests for help, often monetary.

    Maybe some of the problem is that money was introduced initially or even at all. Maybe some of the problem is that the person you are trying to help is not really ready to change their situation. Maybe even this person has done this before with another kind-hearted person. Or the person being helped does not know how to best use the help offered to them. Whatever the answer, you end up having to cease helping/communicating with the person because it becomes apparent it is not the relationship you intended.

    This has also happened to me and a couple of my kind hearted friends and family members. Not yet soured on the idea, I may still try to offer some help to random strangers when we have chatted up each other (after a thorough analysis in my mind) but I do so more with offering resources that I may know of or offer suggestions I think may help and will not let money be a part of it at all. In the end the work to change a situation really needs to be initiated on the part of the person affected.

    P.S. Interestingly the person that I befriended also called me from jail asking for money to help pay outstanding speeding tickets to be released. My response was no and that perhaps family and friends would be of more help. We haven’t spoken since.

  76. Well it seems no good deed goes unpunished. I wish I had known you were handing out free car repairs though, because I just had to buy 2 new tires and there is no way will I land myself in jail!
    You just keep being you and doing what you do and believing that what you do really does help lift some of us more than you will ever know!

  77. Scott, if you still have machines to donate, this lady could really use one. She lost everything in the fire including her husband! She is our daughter-in-law’s aunt.

    Thanks for your consideration!

    As many of you know Linda Warner, one of our quilting sisters suffered a terrible tragedy last week. On Monday March 26th her home burnt to the ground. The ultimate tragedy was she also lost her husband as a result of the fire. To quote Linda, “ my two worst fears happened on the same day.” Her faith and strength through this tragedy has been an inspiration to our community. Here is where everyone can be part of an encouraging event being held in her honor. She had been planning on a sewing weekend with her sisters later in April. The fire took all of her sewing stuff. So plan to be part of this event. We are having a sewing shower on April 13th from 6pm to 8:30 pm at the Marlette United Methodist Church fellowship hall. We are taking donations to purchase a new machine for her. We are asking that everyone bring a piece of fabric or your favorite notion. There will be a quilt for everyone to sign and leave an encouraging message for her. If you can’t attend the shower you may mail your donation or gift to Marlette United Methodist Church 3155 Main Street, Marlette Michigan,48453. If you have any questions please call 989-635-3767 or 989- 635-0300. Lets just shower Linda with love and encouragement. Please feel free to share this post with your sewing and crafting friends.

  78. Scott, Just because you saw in the “short space of time” a woman who stepped the wrong way instead of following your “step up”…well it doesn’t mean you didn’t do the right thing. You did and you did it for all the right reasons. You planted a seed, a seed of hope/future in this woman. Maybe you won’t be the person to water that seed…but hopefully somewhere down the road it will get the “watering” and this woman will realize that the “gracious gift —- giving with a genuine heart”…. is worth more than anything this world can buy!
    Keep up the good deeds and giving with your genuine heart! You’ve got many following you that see just a kind word, a simple step up, a smile, a chatterbox full of great stories, and more make a difference in people’s lives! We all can make a difference!
    #SewRevolution

  79. Scott,

    Thank you for such generosity and faith in humanity! Although not everyone who is blessed with the kindness of a stranger takes it for what it is, a chance to be better and hopefully, pass it on…..but it’s still worth doing! Your “no strings attached” kindness may just be the turning point that helps someone decide to work towards being a better human being.

    IF I happen to be one of the 20th posts, please pass mine along to the 21st person. I have a home-based long arm and quilting business that allows me to accumulate a ton of fabrics!

    Bless you and your journey!

    Heather

  80. Oh Scot, well just know that you are not the only one to get yourself into these situations. I do it on a regular basis!! Up until recently I always go to far tring to help. After going thru a very hard separation I met an older gentalman that needed help cleaning. He had lost his wife 3 months previous. Her things were exacly where they were when she died. The house was a shambles. I figured while I looked for work I could help him. 4 hrs to clean one microwave and the Island. It was bad. After cleaning that day I was starting to realize that he was having a memory problem. How sad! Where was his family. I had lost my dad 7 years previous and would never let him live like this. So the next day a Sunday I showed up and was going to get started on another part of the kitchen. No he wasnt having it. He couldn’t remember if he had eaten. Or taken his medicine. What did I get myself into.. I barley had the energy to care for myself. Then he mistaked me for his deceased wife! So I got back to the friends house I was staying with and told her what was going on. We stalk ed online his daughter. I fb messaged her. And then we talked on the phone. She was mean and uncaring! There must have been some bad blood there. But we found out his wife had died 5 mths previous. Anyway for the first time I walked away from a situation. It made me so sad. For once I needed to put myself first.

    1. Please call your local adult services line. He needs to be checked on. It sounds like his daughter won’t do so.

  81. Like you said Never give up on people! There are those who truly are in need and those who just want a handout. Luckily the later usually have no concept of reality. You have such a huge heart and God willing, you are able to continue to help those in our wonderful world of sewing to help improve themselves by taking to small pieces of fabric, sew them together, and repeat until they have created something useful and beautiful. You can’t save the world, as we would all, well those of us with a giving till it hurts belief, want to do. But you have such a wonderful gift, to share with all of us. I wish you the best, and you always have enough! Thank you for sharing this with us.

  82. Great job in helping so many with machines. As for helping this lady you did way more than many would have, yes you had to draw a line and even at that you did it gracefully
    Thanks for all you do.
    Keep the great stories coming

  83. Hi Scott,
    Our plumbers wife is without a sewing machine. They were living in a rental home that evidently was highly moldy and was so bad that the family had to move out leaving everything behind including her sewing machine, materials etc…. If she could be put on your list for a new sewing machine that would be really awesome. I have extra new Quilters Select cutting mats, rulers, and a rotary cutter and materials that I can give her so no need to send that. Her name is Kayla Luna. I don’t have a phone number for her yet but you could reach me at my email.
    Thanks LauraT

  84. You did great! You blessed her, did the right thing, and God will bless YOU for it. What other people do with those blessings is between them and God. Keep on being nice, and take joy in the people who are truly appreciative!

  85. No fabric needed. I do want/need you to protect your heart. It sounds like you give until it hurts. Don’t. I know about that after paying for lots of dentistry (with monthly checks for a year) for someone who I last saw about this time last year. Right after the 1st check cleared! lol She said she’d stop in twice a week to clean for me (I practically live in my wheelchair) and I’d pay for her new teeth. Now she has teeth, if she chooses to wear them. And I know I helped someone. But… never again.

  86. Scott, what you do is amazing and it really does change lives. When something doesn’t go as planned just try to remember that. Hold onto that. Every time I use, or even look at, my amazing, beautiful, happiness creating, memory making, lovely orange machine it makes me feel so good. I feel empowered, and I want to thank you again for giving me that feeling!

  87. What a nice thing you did. I have had to say no to family members as well. We can only be taken advantage of with our permission. I believe in helping people but they also have to help themselves. And we are individually responsible for our actions.

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